Should Christians Attend a So-Called Gay Wedding?

Title: Should Christians Attend a So-Called Gay Wedding?
Text: Matthew 19: 4-6, Genesis 18:20, 2 Corinthians 6:14-17, 1 Corinthians 6:9-11
Time: April 22nd, 2015

Last week Florida Senator Marco Rubio announced he’s running for President in the 2016 election. Shortly afterwards he was asked about so-called gay marriage and about whether he would attend a so-called same-sex wedding if invited. He replied he would, since if he cared about somebody close then he’d want to be there for them for the special moments in their life. He said he wouldn’t let a disagreement about the nature of marriage separate family or friends for such a special moment. And although Rubio is against the redefinition of marriage he seems to be perfectly willing to participate by attending a so-called gay wedding. He says he’s a Christian and feels that would be the loving thing to do. Is he correct? Can Christians attend so-called gay weddings of loved ones and friends? Is that perfectly consistent with a profession of faith in Christ? If not, what would be wrong with attending such weddings? When I first heard the question raised by news reporters I knew immediately they were trying to stir up controversy and trouble by asking the leading Republican candidates for president. Of course, reporters love to cause trouble because that causes controversy and therefore it draws people into the debate and increases television news ratings as more and more people tune in to hear the latest development. But I also knew that it would so seeds of division among Christians because generally speaking believers don’t think very deeply about such topics, nor do they work very hard trying to live consistent Christian lives in the midst of an increasingly secular and godless society. I knew that some Christians would think of the question as posing no real problem – “Of course I’d attend a gay wedding of a close friend or family member. It’s the loving thing to do,” they’d say. While others would instinctively react negatively and object, say, “Of course I wouldn’t attend a so-called gay wedding; that would be the same as endorsing what God calls sin. I wouldn’t do it, not for a friend, not even for a family member. I will not be a party to sin by attending.” And then of course there will be Christians who are caught in the middle who honestly don’t know what they’d do. That’s the position Senator Ted Cruz of Texas took when asked by trouble-making news reporters about the issue. He said, “I don’t know, I’ve never been asked to attend a gay wedding.” That’s the safe and easy response. And maybe he was wise in taking it, especially if he hasn’t really thought through the question. But someday, at some time, he’s going to have to answer the question. All Christians at some point will have to answer the question. We all will. What will you say? Let’s talk about it this morning. Let me present what I’m convinced is a consistent Christian answer to the question.

First, What is marriage and what is a wedding? Matthew 19: 4-6, “’Haven’t you read,’ he replied, ‘that at the beginning the Creator made them male and female and said For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh? So they are no longer two, but one. Therefore what God has joined together let no man separate.’” Here is an example of Jesus teaching on marriage. He quotes Genesis 1:27 where it says God created male and female, and also Genesis 2:24 where it says a man will leave father and mother and be joined to his wife. So in this very short exchange between Jesus and the Pharisees we learn that according to the Lord a marriage is between a man and a woman and that it is characterized by a one-flesh intimate relationship that binds the two together for a lifetime. That one-flesh relationship can only occur between members of the opposite sex, a male and a female. The male sexual organs correspond to the female sexual organs and thus sexual unity is possible that most of the time leads to offspring as a result. But even if it doesn’t lead to children, it’s still a one-flesh relationship because of the way God made men and women’s bodies, minds and souls. That one-flesh relationship of which God speaks cannot occur between two males or between two females. There bodies are not made that way; God did not make them for one another, but only for members of the opposite sex. A same sex sexual relationship can never lead to offspring because people are not made by the Creator for sexual relationships between members of the same sex. Jesus also mentions the man or woman leaving mother and father, not leaving mother and mother, or father and father. Thus we see a disqualification of any legitimate same sex couple raising children. It’s not the will and intent of the Creator. And on and on we could go making observations and making points for the heterosexual nature of marriage, and against any notion of a same sex marriage. Now, obviously if it’s not legitimate in the eyes of God for there to be anything resembling a gay marriage, then obviously there can’t be any legitimacy to any so-called same sex wedding. What is a wedding? Jesus attended one in the second chapter of the Gospel of John in Cana of Galilee – and it was a real wedding, a heterosexual one, not a gay wedding. From all we know about the teachings of Jesus on the subject of marriage, he never would have attended a so-called gay wedding; it’s contrary to the will of God as expressed clearly in the Bible. So it’s very clear that according to the Bible a marriage can only be between members of the opposite sex, and also there can’t really be any so-called gay wedding.

Two, but can’t Christians agree to disagree with friends and family members over gay marriage? Genesis 18:20, “Then the Lord said, ‘The outcry against Sodom and Gomorrah is so great and their sin so grievous that I will go down and see if what they have done is as bad as the outcry that has reached me. If not, I will know.’” As we all know, the outcry against the sexual perversion of Sodom and Gomorrah was indeed as bad as the Lord had heard, and so he destroyed it with fire from heaven. This gives us a clue as to how God feels about sexual perversity of the kind that characterized these sinful cities, the kind of homosexuality that we see in the biblical account. Now the question I raise is common among Christians who ask, “Can’t we hold to the position that marriage is only between and man and woman, yet while disagreeing with same sex marriage still participate in the life of a friend or family member who invites us to their wedding?” In other words, “Can’t we simply disagree agreeably and still hold to our convictions while loving and affirming our gay friends and family members?” Well, let’s think about the biblical passage just quoted and the account that follows. The Lord comes with angels to see if Sodom and Gomorrah are as sinful, wicked and evil as the outcry they hear before them. Now we don’t know who is doing the out-crying, whether men or angels, but the report is pretty bad. So the Lord sends angels to confirm it. And sure enough, the men of the city, homosexual perverts, live up to the bad report. So God sends down fire from heaven to destroy the wicked cities. That’s God feeling towards homosexuality perversion. So when we talk about casually disagreeing with friends and family members over homosexuality, gay marriage and gay weddings, we need to keep in mind – God violently judges homosexuality. It isn’t some mild disagreement to God. He is violently against it. It desecrates his holy order of marriage. It’s also a gross rebellion against his created order. It’s against nature. It’s different than agreeing or disagreeing on other political issues. This is a moral issue, and a very important ethical matter. It’s not like disagreeing on taxation, immigration, the size of government, gun control, and so forth. This is perversion of God’s will for man and woman, and it’s a perversion of the natural sexual order. It is not tolerated by God – Sodom and Gomorrah proved that. So it’s not okay to “agree to disagree” over same sex marriage. It’s too important than that. God doesn’t treat it so lightly, so casually, so loosely. It’s a big deal with God, and so it should be a big deal to us as well. We shouldn’t tolerate it, because God doesn’t tolerate. I’m sorry, but Marco Rubio is wrong when he says we shouldn’t let a disagreement over marriage separate us from friends and family. Yes, we actually should. If a friend and family member so disrespects the will of God, then they also disrespect us. It’s on them, not us.

Third, what harm would there be in simply attending a so-called gay wedding? 2 Corinthians 6:14-17, “Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness? What harmony is there between Christ and Belial? What does a believer have in common with an unbeliever? What agreement is there between the temple of God and idols? For we are the temple of the living God. As God has said, ‘I will live with them and walk among them, and I will be their God, and they will be my people.’ Therefore come out from them and be separate, say the Lord. Touch no unclean thing, and I will receive you.’” According to Marco Rubio – and I don’t want to pick on him too much because after all he might have misspoken or answered without thinking – but according to the senator, “We shouldn’t let our disagreeing separate us from friends and family in sharing important moments in life.” Well, what would he do in the case of a friend or family member who invited him to attend a so-called “black mass” at the church of Satan? We live in a diverse culture, freedom of religion, and so forth, where there are fellow citizens who are Satanists. Would he attend a so-called “black mass” if it meant a lot to a friend or family member? Would he take the attitude that a little disagreement about the nature of Holy Communion shouldn’t separate us from the important moments in people’s lives we care about? It’s the same thing with a so-called gay wedding. It makes a mockery of holy matrimony. In the same way that a so-called “black mass” makes a mockery of the real and authentic Lord’s Supper, so too does a so-called same sex wedding mock the real, legitimate meaning of marriage – and it’s public expression, a wedding. The passage talks about the difference between righteousness and wickedness, between light and darkness. From a spiritual and moral standpoint, gay marriage is a wicked and evil abomination in the sight of God. The Bible even uses the word “abomination” for homosexuality in the Old Testament. A so-called gay wedding would even be a double abomination because it not only involves the sexual perversion of homosexuality but in addition perverts and desecrates holy matrimony as well. Should a Christian be a part of such an abomination? No! In the strongest terms, No! Now it’s true that merely observing or attending a so-called gay marriage isn’t the same taking an active part in it, such as the participants and the person officiating it. But if I’m not mistaken isn’t there usually a part in the typical wedding ceremony where the audience is asked to affirm or morally support the couple in some fashion? Isn’t that participation to a degree?

And besides, simply being at a so-called same sex wedding is a form of supporting it. By attending a Christian is saying, “I can abide by what is taking place here. I have no problem with it. I can live with this.” But I must ask again, is that the attitude God communicates towards homosexuality in the Bible? No. Does God communicate a benign and tolerant attitude towards same sex relationships in all that we know of his will from the Bible? No. So if God isn’t neutral or tolerant towards homosexuality, then why would a Christian think for one minute he or she can be tolerant towards this sin? Attending a so-called same sex wedding is showing a sinful tolerance towards something God sees as evil. It should not be done. And it doesn’t show love to the friend or family member who is inviting us to the wedding. If a person is heading for destruction it isn’t loving to simply let them rush forward and be destroyed. The Apostle Paul explains this in 1 Corinthians 6:9-11, “Do you not know that the wicked will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived: neither the sexually immoral nor idolaters nor adulterers nor male prostitutes nor homosexual offenders, nor the greedy nor drunkards nor slanderers nor swindlers will inherit the kingdom of God. And that is what some of you were. But you were washed, you were sanctified, you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and by the Spirit of God.” The loving thing to do is evangelize homosexuals in order to convert them from their sin to true and holy faith in God. Many are under the delusion that they can have both God and their homosexuality; they can’t. The Apostle Paul states very clearly that homosexuality is something that needs repented of, not affirmed, when he says, “And that is what some of you were.” That is, some of the Corinthians used to be homosexuals, but they repented of their sin and became believers in Christ. They were given the power over their sins, including the sin of same sex relations. Evangelizing gays is the loving thing to do; affirming, supporting, encouraging gay in their sin is not loving; it’s damning. “The homosexual offender . . . will not inherit the kingdom of God,” says the Apostle Paul. If that’s the case, we need to warn them, rebuke them, and attempt to turn them from their sin in order to save their soul. We certainly should never in any way encourage them or affirm them or support them in their homosexual sin, as in attending a so-called gay wedding would be doing. So in answering the question, “Should a Christian attend a so-called gay wedding?” The answer is an equivocal “No.”


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